Sexy Is Not a Four-Letter Word

Sexy Is Not a Four-Letter Word

Last week, I found myself facing that familiar dilemma once again. A new model, talented and beautiful, but with a strange tension whenever the word "sexy" came up. "It sounds so… objectifying," she said, making a face as if I'd suggested she wrap herself in plastic wrap.

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It makes me sad.

Because in my world — and I've been professionally photographing nudes and erotica for nearly two decades — "sexy" is one of the most beautiful compliments you can give someone. It means charisma, self-confidence, an irresistible magnetism. It has nothing to do with reduction, but rather with recognizing a special energy and celebrating feminine beauty.

When I started in 2006, things were different. Back then, models could beam when I said after a successful shot: "That was sexy!" Today, many flinch as if I'd slapped them.

What happened? Somewhere between legitimate discussions about respect and equality, a wonderful word has been taken hostage. Sexy became synonymous with superficiality, with male dominance, with everything wrong about the portrayal of femininity.

But that's a misunderstanding.

Sexy isn't the opposite of intelligent. It's not the opposite of self-determined. Sexy can be powerful, playful, mysterious, self-ironic — or all of these at once. Sexy is a form of communication, a way of saying: "I'm here, I'm alive, I have something to offer. And I'm playing with it."

Of course, there are contexts where "sexy" becomes reductive and humiliating. But surely not during a nude shoot!

I long for a world where women can smile again when they hear they're sexy. A world where this compliment isn't understood as an attack, but as what it should be: recognition of their charisma, their vitality, their very special way of being. And where a compliment about an appealing female body is something positive.

The "woke" crowd has damaged a lot, confused many young women. I notice this when I work with models nowadays.

I suggest we start celebrating sensuality again. Because honestly, and this is my very personal opinion as someone who works professionally with beauty, a world without "sexy" would be pretty damn boring, wouldn't it?

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