That damn wavelength
Sometimes it's just there. Other times, despite desperate efforts, it remains as unreachable as the last bus you've just missed. For years, I've wondered: Can you actually conjure this elusive something, or is it pure coincidence when two people harmonize photographically?
While setting up my camera, I steal a quick glance at the person across from me. Almost always significantly younger, mostly around 20 years my junior now. Different generation, different world. Where I grew up with cassettes and radio, they only know streams and TikTok.
Does this age difference automatically mean a poorer connection? It is a bit more challenging. We lack those shared "Remember when..." moments. For example, I once mentioned attending a Moby concert. And my model had no idea who Moby was.
A classic "blind date with camera"
Today's reality doesn't make things easier. The models usually have no clue who they're facing. Checked my portfolio? Negative. Their attention fragmented by constant social media bombardment. Meanwhile, that damn clock is ticking. Their hourly rate demands efficiency, not endless coffee chats to get acquainted.
Time for slowly building trust? A beautiful dream. Reality looks different: We need to start immediately. In this situation, only rock-solid professionalism helps as a foundation. The models need to feel right away that I'm not just another guy trying to hit on them. No hidden agendas, no ambiguous comments. This clarity builds trust.
Communication is key. I talk a lot. Probably too much for some. The constant flow of words takes the pressure off, bridges awkward silences, and helps the other person relax. Humor is my most faithful ally here. Shared laughter builds more bridges than any technical instruction.
But I also know: What works for one can completely turn off the next. Some introverted models practically suffocate under my torrent of words and need exactly the opposite: silence, room to breathe, less verbal inundation. The art lies in recognizing within those first few minutes what type of person is standing before me and spontaneously changing course.
After numerous years and hundreds of shoots, I've developed some solid strategies that usually work:
- The first five minutes decide everything. I skip small talk about the weather and instead ask directly about their last festival visit, the craziest thing they've ever done, or: "What was your last moment of absolute freedom, when you felt truly alive?"
- A prepared playlist is worth its weight in gold. But caution—when a 49-year-old shows up with "hip sounds," it usually earns nothing but eye rolls. At the same time, I'm at an age where I have no desire to listen to any (excuse me!) modulated crap during a shoot. So my playlist is a suggestion, not a requirement.
- Take warm-up photos that no one will ever see. The first 20 pictures go in the trash anyway. So why not expect this and use that time to settle in?
- I show interim results early. As soon as I feel confident myself. This builds trust and gives the model a chance to feel validation. Nothing builds a connection faster than viewing a successful image together.