Dear Models,
I need to get something off my chest. In recent months, I've been observing a trend that leaves me, as a photographer, completely baffled. Maybe I missed that crucial TikTok moment or I'm simply not trendy enough anymore for the latest posing trends. But what you're doing is driving me to the brink of photographic despair.
I'm talking about this new favorite pose: throwing your head back as if you've just made a startling discovery in the sky. What results is an anatomical masterpiece — though not a particularly photogenic one. I see an endlessly stretched neck, crowned by a prominently protruding chin that dominates the image like the bow of a cruise ship.
Depending on the angle, you're also giving me a generous view into your nostrils. And believe me, even with years of experience and the most expensive equipment — nostrils remain nostrils. Or worse: they look like a double socket from the 1970s.
You persist in this position with the endurance of a street performer working as a living statue. Waiting for the liberating click of my camera. But I just can't. I circle around you like a nature photographer searching for the perfect moment, but this moment will never come. It's like trying to photograph a garden gnome from its best angle. It simply doesn't exist.
The whole thing reminds me of my nephew Kevin (real name known to the editor), who recently insisted on showing me his "mega-cool" backflip. What followed was a kind of interpretive movement art that vaguely resembled a somersault — if you close both eyes and are very generous.
Seriously though: The situation isn't so simple to handle. As a photographer, I'm deeply grateful for every model who moves independently in front of the camera and doesn't wait for me to explain each pose in detail or — God forbid — demonstrate it. Nobody wants to see a puffing photographer trying to look elegant, graceful, and sexy. Which I certainly won't manage to pull off. I don't want to complain either, because nothing kills the mood at a shoot faster than a grumbling photographer.