Dealing with haters

Dealing with haters

In today's digital world, there are no more hurdles and people can share their thoughts and opinions faster and more directly. Sometimes manners fall by the wayside, and that's exactly what I've experienced now.


Negative experiences or emotions have a stronger influence on us humans than positive ones. This phenomenon is also called negativity bias. Among other things, this is due to our evolutionary history and cultural influences.

From an evolutionary point of view, it had consequences for our ancestors to pay special attention to negative events and experiences, as these could pose an immediate threat to survival. For example, being alert to be able to flee immediately in dangerous situations. Positive events, such as finding food, were also important but not immediately life-threatening. Berry picking could be done on the side.

Culturally, many societies place more emphasis on avoiding pain and suffering than on experiencing joy and happiness. In addition, it is common in many Western societies to promote a "modesty culture" in which it is considered rude or inappropriate to draw public praise or positive attention to oneself.

Sometimes I'm not so sure if these cultural aspects are still valid today. But I got to thinking when I realized how hard it was for me to deal with hate comments.

Three people write you a positive comment on your pictures and then a message comes in that crudely insults you. This insult suddenly has a much stronger effect and the positive comments are forgotten.

This is absolutely crazy and the feeling has just paralyzed me inside. I myself was shocked by it, because I (fortunately) do not have much experience with haters.

Who does this? Why do strangers insult you? I don't know and I can't put myself in these people's shoes.

I have read up on how best to behave. It is recommended to ignore first to have a de-escalating effect. If possible, you should block the person and report him. In my case, this was not possible at all. And if you react, you should remain polite yourself.

Pity is a gift, envy is something you have to work for.

In any case, you should always keep a cool head and prioritize your mental health. Don't react too impulsively and try to innerly switch off from time to time.